


go fuck yourself

by SlickBelt



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Clone Sex, First Time, Gratuitous Smut, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu | Shadow Clone Technique, Kage Bunshin | Shadow Clones, M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlickBelt/pseuds/SlickBelt
Summary: It's shameful how the aggressively dismissive remark is able to trigger such obscene thoughts.ORNaruto's sexual experimentation with a shadow clone. Basically selfcest.
Relationships: Uzumaki Naruto/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 121





	go fuck yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to edit this draft I had. Timeline wise Naruto would be 16 here, but I kind of have it in my head that he's 18. Up to interpretation.

_It hadn't even been said to him._ Naruto is walking home on his own after Iruka has treated him to a few (eight) bowls of Ichiraku ramen. The sun is setting and he's had a long day, so he's planning to relax for the rest of the evening before passing out.

It's loud - "Go fuck yourself!" Someone slurs the phrase from inside the local pub as Naruto passes, to which he recoils at instinctively. It's aggressive, but not aimed at him. He has no business interfering with drunken brawls, so he ignores it and walks the rest of the way home.

At least he thinks he ignores it. The words linger on his mind for a while, nothing else is occupying his thoughts. _Go fuck yourself._ The vulgar slang is just that - vulgar slang, the literal meaning of such a phrase is irrelevant when compared to the intention behind it. Though... they say a shinobi must see the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings, you know? Trying to decipher such a phrase is perfectly valid mental training!

So he does think about it. He _thoroughly_ thinks about it.

At first he thinks simple masturbation would suffice, but no way! Fucking someone is more than just a handjob, so fucking yourself has to be more than giving yourself one.

Naruto scratches his chin in silent contemplation while entering his apartment, pausing in his tracks momentarily before locking the door behind him. You know... just in case.

If a handjob won't suffice, maybe it's not possible to fuck yourself if you have a dick?

He kicks off his shoes and unzips his jacket, letting it slide off his shoulders and onto the floor. He'll pick them up later.

If he remembers correctly from the transcripts he read for Icha Icha Tactics, face-fucking is a thing. It certainly had been framed as something that you would do with a girl, but Naruto has a mouth too.

Naruto peels off his chainmail under armor roughly, dismissing the clatter that reverberates when he carelessly tosses it onto a nearby chair.

Just how flexible would someone need to be to fuck their own mouth?

Naruto is already in the bathroom unbuttoning his pants when this thought surfaces, and he freezes. There's only one way to find out... right? He shakes his head, turning the shower on before dropping his pants and kicking them off along with his boxers. Maybe these thoughts are getting a little out of hand. It's _probably_ not naturally possible to be that flexible - and even if it is, you would likely need a massive dick to reach, and Naruto is modest at best.

Naruto takes off his hitai-ate and necklace last, carefully setting them on the towel rack before stepping into the shower.

The water is too hot, but that's exactly how Naruto likes it - even when the summer is at it's peak he takes scalding hot showers. The warm blanket of water dancing with a suffocating layer of steam almost compensates for the warm embraces that he's missed out on over the course of his childhood.

Naruto reaches for the shampoo, fumbling with the cap before squeezing what he feels to be an adequate amount of the unscented liquid - gel? Whatever shampoo is, he squeezes an adequate amount of it onto his hand. Which was more than usual, because maybe if he washes his scalp thoroughly enough he'll wash away the newly surfacing filthy thoughts.

Just as Naruto begins to feel his sins wash away, an ill-timed elbow angle sends water streaming from his arm and onto the heat of his crotch. It's barely any pressure - on any normal day Naruto wouldn't have taken note of the occurrence at all, but dissuading his previous thoughts is easier said than done. He peers down hesitantly, his breath hitching as he becomes aware of his half-hardness.

"This 's stupid." Naruto squeezes his eyes shut and turns away from the water to rinse his hair. Though as he moves from his hair, to face, to torso and arms this nagging thought won't leave him alone: can he suck his own dick?

Naruto sighs, biting his lip pensively. Clearing his throat, he stretches down to grab his ankles like he normally would while warming up. No way - his head is far too low in this position.

After a few different angles, Naruto concludes that it is not possible - for him, at least. With that, his curiosity is satisfied! That's it! The end!

That is, until he gets to washing his lower regions. He starts by leaning his back against the shower wall to languidly wash one foot at a time, massaging the sore extremities with his thumbs as he goes. He turns away from the water again and scrubs his legs fairly quick, and by the time he gets to his crotch he's thankfully returned to a flaccid state. It's while washing his rear end, when his fingers dive into the cleft of his ass and graze the soft skin around _that_ hole, that realization strikes him. More like a memory - hidden knowledge that he once deemed useless and buried long ago.

The thing is, Naruto doesn't find Jiraiya's books to be interesting in the slightest. According to Jiraiya, it's simply because of his young age, but his depictions of seductive women begging for... well, it doesn't appeal to him as much as the next guy. Naruto isn't one for reading, anyway, but if he has to read something, Jiraiya's smut novels aren't gonna make the cut. By choice, at least. With Jiraiya, unfortunately, he doesn't always have that choice; that pervert insists Naruto beta reads all of the transcripts, and right now, one of them is filling his mind quite clearly.

It had been a chapter where the protagonist and his rival had, after some complicated drama that Naruto can't be bothered to recall, decided to both fuck the love interest lady at the same time. The woman agreed, and each man chose a hole. You guessed it, neither hole was her _mouth._

Naruto can feel heat rise to his face as his fingers still on the sensitive ring of muscle, becoming hyper aware of each nervous twitch. He wants to facepalm and feel dumb that he hasn't thought of this sooner, but his mind is a little preoccupied wondering _what it would feel like_ to insert something into that... hole. Now he isn't sure if the heat of the shower has been making it steadily harder to breathe over time, or if it's just him.

Jiraiya never wrote about a man doing this, but Naruto can't think of a reason that it would be any different. The woman enjoyed it, and Naruto did read how it happened, so...

Experimentally, Naruto attempts to force his middle finger into the tight ring of muscle. He is met with enough resistance, however, to give him time to rethink his decision. Is it... safe? If Naruto injures himself trying to do this, would he have the courage to face a medical professional? Probably not. Right...! Sakura, you see, I... was trying to... go fuck myself?

The rest of Naruto's shower is swift and intentionally cold.

He dries off in a rush and throws on the first pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that he grabs, hastily slipping on his sandals before dashing out of his apartment. There's only one person he feels comfortable asking for advice in this situation. At least, only one he feels comfortable with that may actually have answers.

Naruto doesn't hesitate knocking on the door of Iruka's apartment, but falters during the time it takes for his sensei to answer the door. Iruka won't judge him for this - he's not that kind of person. Iruka didn't judge him when he was younger and so embarrassingly made the mistake of questioning just _exactly_ how couples conceive their children, so he won't judge him now.

Right?

"Oi, Naruto!" Iruka is visibly surprised to see Naruto again after parting with him at Ichiraku. Taking in Naruto's damp hair and anxious countenance, his face twists into one of concern. "Did something happen?" Iruka shifts to the side and Naruto gulps, gathering himself to put on a smile before walking inside.

"Nothing happened, I just wanna talk to you about something." Naruto removes his sandals by the door before seating himself on Iruka's sofa.

Iruka shuts the door and turns to Naruto, his face only falling further. "It can't wait? Are you alright?" Iruka carefully eyes the way Naruto fidgets with the hem of his shirt.

"It's just... kind of embarassing, y'know..." Naruto awkwardly laughs in an attempt to relieve tension in the room and Iruka relaxes, seemingly recognizing that this is a harmless personal matter.

Iruka sits down on the sofa next to Naruto, turning to face him with his legs crossed. "Alright," he says, slapping his knees. "This is a judgment-free zone. What do you need to talk about?"

Naruto titters, pulling at a loose thread on his shirt. "I just wanna know if like... well, it's kind of complicated, but basically I... I mean when I was walking home I overheard a, uh, and then I was thinking, like, how would you um. You know. Like if you, well..." Naruto can't find the right words. Well he can, but every time he goes to say them, his brain resets.

"Take your time." Amusement plays on Iruka's lips, and Naruto can't even blame him.

"I wanted to ask you," Naruto starts slowly, taking a deep breath. His face reddens and he mumbles something incoherent while staring at the floor.

Iruka leans closer. "You're going to need to speak more clearly if you want me to help."

"I want to ask you about butt sex, okay?" Naruto nearly shouts it, the statement coming out in a manner similar to ripping off a bandage. Iruka's eyes blow wide, a blush creeping onto his face while Naruto's words sink in. By the look on Iruka's face and his lack of a response, Naruto decides to elaborate. "Like in Icha Icha, is that actually a thing? Is it safe? What does it feel like? Have you ever-"

"That's enough!! That's enough, Naruto. I can give you some answers," Iruka interrupts him, failing to will down the heat rising to his face.

So basically, that's the night Naruto learns men (including Iruka, apparently) fuck each other. Like, it's common, and Naruto hadn't even considered it before. It's definitely an exciting discovery.

A discovery that, while laying in bed after getting home, Naruto cannot stop thinking about. He is intrigued a normal amount. He is erect a normal amount. Naruto is incredibly, undeniably aroused by the idea of fucking men a completely normal amount.

Naruto huffs, arching his back to lift his hips off the mattress enough to push his waistband down. He hadn't slipped on any underwear after his shower earlier, so that's all it takes to free his erection from the confines of his sweats.

At first Naruto continues to lie there, making no move to take care of his apparent arousal. He's tired, but... fuck it.

Naruto carelessly palms the head of his cock, smearing what little precum that spills out down the shaft. His face immediately contorts with pleasure, a quiet involuntary moan escaping his throat as his brain fails to immediately catch up with the actions of his hand. He closes his eyes and twists his hand along the shaft, stroking slowly. He needs to remind himself to keep breathing when he pictures his hand being that of another guy, but halts his movements at the base when his mind intrusively tries to put a face to this imaginary partner. Jacking off to one of his friends is... to put it bluntly, a huge turn-off. Not because his friends were unappealing or anything, Naruto just can't get off knowing that he'll think about it the next time he sees them in person.

Jacking off to a random dude he makes up on the spot, however, is not much better. Naruto squints his eyes open, scowling at the ceiling. He tugs on his cock roughly and huffs in annoyance - he'd spent so much time developing the character for his sexy justu and hadn't the foresight to create a male equivalent that he could get off on?

Naruto gasps with his hand stilled on the head of his cock as realization strikes him. He already _has_ the male equivalent. He _is_ the male equivalent.

"Fuck!" Naruto makes a move to facepalm at his own stupidity, but stops short as he recognizes that the hand nearing his face had just been gripping his cock.

Naruto has to be the only shadow clone expert in the world to ever spend an entire evening contemplating how fucking himself would be possible.

Making one clone is beyond easy, even in this tired, horny state. So of course he does so, and his clone manifests on his bed. Above him, knees on either side of his waist while slouching back awkwardly. The sight of his clone's erect cock sticking out from above his waistband is oddly startling for something Naruto brought upon himself.

Naruto's clone drops down to plant hands on either side of Naruto's head, a devious grin growing on his face. "That's better," his clone muses. Naruto frowns, having a pretty good idea of what his clone is thinking as he leans towards him. He always forgets that his clones have the same brain as him and won't roll over mindlessly to do tasks that he doesn't want to do.

"You know why I summoned you!" Naruto pushes his clone down by the face with his clean hand. His clone fights his hand off and straddles him again, frowning at Naruto while he props himself up on his elbows to glare back. It's hard to remain focused with how their cocks are pressing together in this position, but he manages.

The clone shrugs. "Yeah, but... I don't really want to do that, y'know." Naruto opens his mouth to protest but his breath is stalled, releasing a strangled moan as his clone tugs their cocks together with both hands. "This is good enough, right?"

"Come on," Naruto whines, batting weakly at his clone's hands in a vain attempt to halt his movements. "Wait your turn!"

The clone stops abruptly, pouting at Naruto. "We both know I'm not getting a turn." Naruto chuckles nervously, turning his head away. It's true, but he doesn't have to say it.

Catching Naruto's eye, however, is the small bottle of lubricant Iruka had been kind enough to give him. "Well..." Naruto nibbles at his lower lip, his clone following his gaze.

"Let's just go for it, yeah?" his clone says, slapping Naruto's thigh. You'd think Naruto would always agree with his clones without hesitation, but in this case he's the... fuckee, and his clone is the fucker, so it's not like they're both in for the same treatment. Still though, after a bit of thought, Naruto nods.

His clone swiftly grabs the bottle and makes his way back onto his bed, hiking Naruto's legs up around his waist as he slouches over to duck his head between his original's thighs. "This is kinda hot... y'know." Naruto scoffs.

"I bet." Naruto tilts his head, vexed by his clone's overly focused expression. Embarrassing... he'll have to remember not to make that face when he's with someone for real. He closes his eyes in anticipation when he hears the lube cap come off, scrunching up his face and grabbing at his sheets loosely.

The clone thumbs at Naruto's hole roughly, grumbling something to himself before he speaks up. "You're supposed to relax." Naruto takes a deep breath before shooting his clone a pointed glare.

"How?"

"I don't know!" The clone straightens his back before bending over Naruto. "You're alone, y'know. Loosen up."

Naruto smirks. "Right, just me and myself." He inhales slowly, a bit shaky on the exhale. "Just be careful. And slow! And Iruka said you can't use too much lube, so -"

"Yes, I was _there,_ y'know!" The clone rolls his eyes, leaning back so that he can get a closer look at Naruto's entrance. Naruto doesn't have to explain why he doesn't trust himself to not be too eager, so he says nothing. His face twists up while his clone slips a slicked index finger down to the first knuckle, watching his face intently. "So...?"

"It's weird and I don't like it. Keep going."

The clone presses in slowly, a disgruntled huff passing his lips as Naruto repeatedly has to relax his muscles. "I'm adding more lube," the clone says, pulling his finger out at a rapid pace. Naruto winces, glaring at his mirror image.

"Oh. I have to be careful both ways. Gotcha." The clone reopens the bottle of lube and squirts more onto his fingers. Naruto sighs, accepting that the mistake is quite literally his own. The finger goes in easier this time, entirely sheathed in only a few seconds. "Ok, now?"

"Still weird." Naruto furrows his brows at the clone's tentative stare. "Move in and out?" His clone is intently focused as he slowly pulls the finger halfway out and presses it back in, a grunt sounding from Naruto.

"Good?"

"No. Keep going."

The clone cautiously repeats his movements. Naruto eventually gains the ability to relax his muscles without too much conscious effort by the time his clone falls into a gentle rhythm, experimentally wriggling his finger in a way that feels... kinda nice? "So is it good...?"

"It's not _bad."_

"Great, because I'm adding another finger." Naruto clenches his jaw while he watches his clone slowly pull his finger out, pooling lube over an additional digit. "I'm... excited." Naruto's face reddens and he leans his head back, closing his eyes while a strained smile graces features.

Two fingers is a lot fuller than one, somehow. Naruto doesn't think of his fingers as very thick, but it seems as though every millimeter counts when putting things up there. The process is the same until his clone abruptly twists his fingers and curls them up, a startled moan escaping Naruto's lips at the unexpected shot of pleasure. "Good, then?"

"Mhm." Naruto drops a forearm over his face, willing down the fire that burned his cheeks in embarrassment due to the unintentional sound. "Starting to get it, I think." Naruto rolls into the touch, his clone humming in content.

"Do you want to try...?" When Naruto looks up at his clone he finds that their faces are equally as red, the realization of what they're doing finally hitting his clone as hard as him. "Hah... I'm fucking myself, aren't I?"

Naruto juts out a lip. "Try getting fucked by yourself. You're not even close to my level."

Naruto's clone has to add more lube to his entrance three times before comfortably being able to poke in the head of his cock, biting his lip while his hips threaten to plunge in on their own. "It's a tight fit."

"I can tell," Naruto says, his breathing labored as he struggles to keep his head up. "I think I'm ready for it."

"This is weird, but... hahh, mmn..." His clone inches in, clutching his thighs in a secure grip. "I've never been this turned on in my life, y'know."

It's a minute before he's bottomed out inside of himself, and Naruto cringes as he shifts against the length. "Can we change positions?"

"Already on it," his clone says, bending over onto him and wrapping his arms around his waist. He hoists Naruto up and falls back so that he lands square in his lap, both of them grunting at the sensation.

"Alright. I... am not ready." Naruto laughs, his hands landing on his clone's hips. "But I will be. Just give me a minute." He grinds down deliberately, taking a bizarre amount of joy in the sight of his clone's face contorting in restraint.

The two lock eyes, both of them wearing determined expressions. "Should we kiss?"

"I was thinking the same thing. Is that weird?"

"Probably. Should we?"

"Nobody would ever know."

"But what does that say about me, y'know?"

"I think we should just do it."

"Me too. But - mmphf!"

It's not the first time Naruto has kissed a shadow clone before, but it is the first time he's kissed one for a reason other than... learning how to kiss; practice. This one is different - passionate, and strangely arousing. He finds himself grinding down on the clone unconsciously in search of friction and he pulls away, his labored panting just as intense as his clone's. "Okay, I think I'm ready." He swallows thickly. "But be careful, y'know."

His clone smiles this time, hands reaching around to knead his lower back. "I know, I got you." The words are somehow still reassuring coming from himself. His clone's hands slide down to grip his thighs, pulling him up slowly. The cock sliding against his inner walls is still a very foreign sensation, but not an unwelcome one.

"Hahh... nice..." Naruto smiles fondly, leaning forwards to lock lips with his clone as he's impaled again. The kiss serves to stifle his moan when his clone grabs his neglected cock, thumbing over the leaking head. "Doing this again later..." Naruto mumbles between kisses, his clone rutting into him at a steady pace.

"I'm not gonna last long," his clone admits, pulling away to press his forehead against Naruto's. "Cum already, this is too much." Naruto pulls himself up nearly off his clone's cock before bottoming out again, the wet slap of skin drowned out by their pleasured moans.

"I will, just..." He repeats this motion, burying his face in the crook of his clone's neck. "Keep doing that." His clone's hand strokes faster, and Naruto is finally able to recognize how much more intense that feeling is when coupled with a cock filling him up.

Naruto begins to bounce on his clone's cock as he nears orgasm, shamelessly latching his lips onto his neck in desperation. The intensity ramps up and up and up until he's spilling over, spurts of cum splattering his clone's torso while he continues to rut up and down on the length of his cock. His clone continues to stroke him through the bliss until he stalls his hand with his own, panting against his ear as he bottoms out again and stays there.

"Please... I'm so close," his clone chokes out, grimacing as he moves his hands onto Naruto's unmoving hips.

"Not uh... not inside, okay?" Naruto says, and his clone whimpers while he pulls up off the impossibly hard erection. Naruto tries not to cringe as he sits down again, his hands landing on his clones cock.

Naruto's hands pump quickly, fingers dipping and curling around every crevice that he _knows_ feels good from his own jacking off. It's incredibly effective, his clone quickly falling into gasps and moans before... poof.

Naruto barely has time to process that his clone has vanished when a second, more intense orgasm is ripping through him. He doubles over, fingers curling tightly into his comforter while his mind goes blank - all he can focus on is his whole body convulsing in indescribable pleasure, and he's barely even able to focus on that.

By the time he comes down from his high for long enough to see the cum splattered comforter, he's hit with a fatigue only comparable to half a day's worth of vigorous training. He collapses onto his face, not able to to care about the mess he's made.

The thought of cleaning himself up passes before it completely manifests in his mind, replaced by the memories returning from the experience his clone just had.

Naruto doesn't know what just happened, and he doesn't manage to stay awake long enough to figure it out.

It seems as though fucking yourself has some unforeseen consequences.


End file.
